Or much so since I've been reading all these xanga stories. It's just making me take a step back and look at things into perspective. People always tell me I'm too young to be thinking the way I do, but you also have to realize that when you go through a lot, whether it be with friends, family, or exes, you tend to take a step back from everything and say, "Do I really want to go through with this?" Yes, I am young, but that doesn't mean I don't think clearly like my peers. I do have trust issues and self-consciousness issues as well. My ex called me a fat whale so that has stuck in my head ever since he called me that. And no, I'm not anorexic or bulimic. I've been lied to, cheated on, and manipulated multiple times. Why? Because I was stupid to think I was in love then..

I'm about 5'2" or 5'3" and about 112 lbs and I have a fast metaloblism, meaning I can pretty much eat whatever I want and all I have to do is take a quick walk and I barely gain the weight.

I've always cared more about other peoples' feelings rather than my own because that's how I've always been and probably will be unless things change. And just because that is a factor, I usually don't get walked all over because I'm generally sick of it. So instead of sitting down like I use to a couple years back, I'm now standing up for myself.

I'm happy with where I'm at now because I have the few things that make me happy. My boyfriend of almost two years, my friends, and some of my family(mostly the ones I can stand.) I'm really sick of people believing heresay rather than just actually believing what was said. I'm so sick of everything. I'm stressed out more than usual and school is out for summer, going to be going back soon. I can say I'm in love because I've been dating him for almost 2 years now. My second longest relationship was a year or just shy of a year.. There's so much stuff I could say about him, he's kind, sweet and just everything that would make you fall in love.